Monday, April 11, 2011

False alarm

It turned out to be a chemical....we're devastated and grieving. Don't know where to go from here except to just be sad and grieve. This is worse that the last 3 years and 9 months combined. I've never been pregnant in all that time and for a brief beautiful four days I was. Now it's gone and so are all our dreams....

Where do we go from here? I can't even begin to think about that now ...and I don't want to.

21 comments:

  1. Oh no! I am so sorry, and I am shocked, your beta was high, right? Take each day as it comes, grieve and feel whatever you need to feel. Eventually you will figure out what comes next. (((hugs)))

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  2. Oh god, Cherm....this is just devastating. Right now it's about taking care of you. I'm reaching across the country and giving you a gigantic bear hug and crying along with you.

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  3. Big big hugs Cherm, take all the time in the world you need to grieve. We'll be here for you through it and when you are ready to think about where to go next. This shit just isn't fair.

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  4. I am so sorry you are going through this..I've been there and it hurts and I am not sure any words will help, but just know I am thinking of you...

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  5. How awful, I am so sorry! Take each day and do your best. My thoughts are with you!!!

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  6. You don't need go anywhere or think about anything right now. Just take care of yourself, and your hubby as well. Chemicals are devastating - the sheer hope followed so quickly by disappointment just completely SUCKS.

    ((hugs))

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss. You don't have to think about where you will go from here. Take your time to grieve. You'll be in my thoughts.

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  8. Visiting from Maria's and Tippy's sites... I'm so, so very sorry. This is a heartbreak beyond words. Sending lots of love, thoughts, and hugs your way.

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  9. I am so sorry for you loss.

    Sending you lots of Cyber hugs!!!

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  10. So sorry to hear about this loss (and that's what it is, so grieve all you want.) I hope you can find a way to try again, because it sure sounds like there was a glimmer of sperm meeting egg there that might just work again. (btw, welcome to the blogging world! Tippy sent me...... :-)

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear this. There's just nothing else to say.

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  12. Popping over from Tippy and Tidy's, just want to send you some hugs and say I'm sorry.

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  13. Oh no!!! I am so sorry :( This grieving process is so hard. It is not fair that when we work so hard to hear those three words, they can be pulled back so quickly and crush us so hard. Take care of you and *hugs*

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  14. I am so so sorry to hear about his news. It is hard to go from such a big high to the lowest of lows. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Sending you big ((hugs))

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  15. Thank you so very much for the hugs and lovely words of support. They mean a lot and helped through the day. This day was extremely hard as was yesterday of course. Yes, the beta did start out high...109 (18 DPO) not 100.9. the one yesterday came back at 102. This one's going to do some damage but as always we forage on. I am so sorry if any of you ever had to go through this. This journey blows in general, but these big disappointments are hard to take...thnx for the loves...it was much needed today.

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  16. Oh, I am so sorry!!! I hate the term "Chemical Pregnancy," it makes it sound like this isn't a terrible loss for you, and it is. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Take good care of yourself, allow yourself to grieve, and know that you are part of a supportive community of women who understand and who have been there! Sending you lots of good thoughts.

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  17. I'm so sorry! Been through the same thing as you, a chemical on the first IVF, and it was hard, sad and depressing. But I also thought "At least it CAN happen!". Sometimes the docs use these as an opportunity tweak the protocols and they might find something that works just a bit better. Thats what happened to me... and I am blessed to have 2 wonderful little boys after over 3 years of poking myself with needles. I know its hard to have faith... but it will happen. (hugs!)

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  18. I'm so sorry honey. I know there are not any words that can take the pain away. Just know - there are many of us here for you who do understand. Sending lots of love!

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  19. I am so, so, so sorry you are going through this. Chemical pregnancies can hurt so much. The grief is so huge and painful. (((Hugs)))

    (Here from the LFCA)

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  20. Here from LFCA...I am very sorry for your loss. This totally sucks.

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  21. I am so sorry for your loss. I had two chemical pregnancies last year and they were devastating. I just had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and everybody thinks that is so much worse, but really, the pain of the chemical pregnancies was just as bad. It's very real the heartbreak you are feeling. So sorry this has happened to you. Wishing you peace during this very difficult time...
    -Kristen from www.buckupbuttercup.net

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