Another hurdle cleared! The ultrasound went well. At 5 weeks and 5 days the RE found a yolk sac and a fetal pole. He said everything looks good so far. There wasn't a heartbeat yet but he said it's probabaly pretty close. We will go back next week to hear the heartbeat. It's also looking like one bean in there at this point.
The underwhelmed reaction of Dr. Charming made me a little uneasy but I think that's just him. My fav PA came out to talk with us afterwards and she mentioned that they think there was a delayed implantation which isn't a big deal but explained why the first number was on the lower side.
Overall we're stoked! Just have to get over the next hurdle. Hopefully the good news will keep on coming! Hope you all are well out there!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
First u/s day
Just wanted to post a quickie on u/s day. We go in early this afternoon for our first u/s after three positive Betas (still weird to write that). I feel like this is the moment of truth. We're either REALLY pg or not. I've been feeling butterflies in my stomach off and on all week and as it's gotten closer can't help but fantasize about the outcome. Mr Bags has been really cute and asking me everyday if I'm hungry and tired. :)
Whatever the results we will survive and hopefully of course will be delighted. If dreams really do come true I hope the one I had the other night does. I dreamt that they saw the little bean in there and it was eating! (maybe because I've been eating so much :) ) Very strange indeed but a good sign I hope!
I'll update later this evening with the results....eeeeek!
Whatever the results we will survive and hopefully of course will be delighted. If dreams really do come true I hope the one I had the other night does. I dreamt that they saw the little bean in there and it was eating! (maybe because I've been eating so much :) ) Very strange indeed but a good sign I hope!
I'll update later this evening with the results....eeeeek!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Presence and Absence
Over this past week and a half we've been floating through our day still trying to wrap our brains around whether this is really happening or not. Because of the disappointments we've faced in the past we are hesitant to jump up and down yet. That's part of IF I suppose...it sort of robs you of that assured excitement; being able to POAS and run to show your DH that it worked after you've been trying for a few months; being able to just call up your OB and make an appointment for your first exam. Instead we have a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop and for someone to tell us....sorry not this time...again.
Mr Bags came up with a great analogy the other day while we were discussing our feelings about this last week and a half. He told me that what he's feeling is compared to how he felt about the Gia.nts winning the Wor.ld Series. At first he just couldn't believe it and after being so disappointed time and time again he felt like he didn't quite have the presence of joy, but there was the absence of heartbreak. Once he had some time to let it sink in and after reliving the great moments from the final games, he finally could feel that "Joy" and celebrate. He is having that same experience now accept on a MUCH bigger scale. I told him he described what I am feeling too.
Once we pass our first and second u/s; further still (hopefully) reach that 12 week mark and ultimately when hold that baby in our arms we will be able to finally experience the "joy" of this good news and celebrate all that we have been striving for in these last 4 1/2 years. By the time this baby comes it will have been 5 years. I know for some it has been longer and for some shorter...I suppose it's all relative to your situation and perspective. Where ever you are I hope your dreams of becoming a parent come true very soon and that you can find the joy in it sooner that you think...
Mr Bags came up with a great analogy the other day while we were discussing our feelings about this last week and a half. He told me that what he's feeling is compared to how he felt about the Gia.nts winning the Wor.ld Series. At first he just couldn't believe it and after being so disappointed time and time again he felt like he didn't quite have the presence of joy, but there was the absence of heartbreak. Once he had some time to let it sink in and after reliving the great moments from the final games, he finally could feel that "Joy" and celebrate. He is having that same experience now accept on a MUCH bigger scale. I told him he described what I am feeling too.
Once we pass our first and second u/s; further still (hopefully) reach that 12 week mark and ultimately when hold that baby in our arms we will be able to finally experience the "joy" of this good news and celebrate all that we have been striving for in these last 4 1/2 years. By the time this baby comes it will have been 5 years. I know for some it has been longer and for some shorter...I suppose it's all relative to your situation and perspective. Where ever you are I hope your dreams of becoming a parent come true very soon and that you can find the joy in it sooner that you think...
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Beta #3
Sorry I didn't get to update until now. Was kind of a crazy day yesterday. Then I worked this AM.
OK..now for the results....it doubled to 120!!!!!
The news did not come without drama though...let me elaborate. So I know I've mentioned my favorite PA. She's been the one calling me with the results the last couple of times. Well she was out of town on conference so I knew she wouldn't be calling me and she told me that her coordinating nurse would be. So I waited patiently until about 2:30 (they normally they call between 11 and 1) and called the clinic. Sounds like the fax came in, but they hadn't given it to the nurse yet. So I waited another 45 min and who calls me?...Dr. F. my stomach dropped a bit when I heard his voice. If he's calling me it can't be good. After we exchange greetings he says to me, "well here we go again." My heart starts pounding and my stomach is now in my shoes. SHIT!
He precedes to tell me that since the PA has been following me he wasn't sure where my numbers were at so he asks me about Wed. numbers and said, "Oh, well today's was 120" and I said, "that's good right?", he said, "yeah that's fine it doubled". So then he preceded to ask me about Monday's numbers and said he told the PA that it was OK. She had told me it was in the average range. ANYWAY..all is good and I am breathing again. I think my RE is good at what he does, but damn the man needs some training in bedside manner! The only thing I could figure is that he was thinking of another patient. I'm planning on giving him some shit when I see him next! :D
The next step will be to go in for an u/s on Mon. 9/26. He said they're looking to make sure it's not ectopic and to see the gestational sack and fetal pole. Wow...can't believe I just wrote that sentence!
Still cautiously excited and I don't think we'll rest easy until 7-8 weeks from now...or even 36 weeks for that matter! Thank you so much for all your beautiful thoughts and comments! xo
OK..now for the results....it doubled to 120!!!!!
The news did not come without drama though...let me elaborate. So I know I've mentioned my favorite PA. She's been the one calling me with the results the last couple of times. Well she was out of town on conference so I knew she wouldn't be calling me and she told me that her coordinating nurse would be. So I waited patiently until about 2:30 (they normally they call between 11 and 1) and called the clinic. Sounds like the fax came in, but they hadn't given it to the nurse yet. So I waited another 45 min and who calls me?...Dr. F. my stomach dropped a bit when I heard his voice. If he's calling me it can't be good. After we exchange greetings he says to me, "well here we go again." My heart starts pounding and my stomach is now in my shoes. SHIT!
He precedes to tell me that since the PA has been following me he wasn't sure where my numbers were at so he asks me about Wed. numbers and said, "Oh, well today's was 120" and I said, "that's good right?", he said, "yeah that's fine it doubled". So then he preceded to ask me about Monday's numbers and said he told the PA that it was OK. She had told me it was in the average range. ANYWAY..all is good and I am breathing again. I think my RE is good at what he does, but damn the man needs some training in bedside manner! The only thing I could figure is that he was thinking of another patient. I'm planning on giving him some shit when I see him next! :D
The next step will be to go in for an u/s on Mon. 9/26. He said they're looking to make sure it's not ectopic and to see the gestational sack and fetal pole. Wow...can't believe I just wrote that sentence!
Still cautiously excited and I don't think we'll rest easy until 7-8 weeks from now...or even 36 weeks for that matter! Thank you so much for all your beautiful thoughts and comments! xo
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
2nd beta
Quick post: Got the second beta report and it went up to 63.9!!!! Yipeee!!! Still somewhat guarded as my E2 levels were a little low so we had to bump up my dosage a little. My PA wants me to do another test this Friday. After that we'll go down for a u/s next Friday. Eeeeeek!!!
This is all so surreal and exciting. Still keeping fingers crossed that this good news continues.
Thanks again for all your lovely words of support!!
XO
This is all so surreal and exciting. Still keeping fingers crossed that this good news continues.
Thanks again for all your lovely words of support!!
XO
Monday, September 12, 2011
10dp3dt
(oops! I made a mistake and put 12dp3dt instead of 10dt3dt in the title initially. I was thinking in terms of DPO. Sorry if that was confusing. :) )
First of all thank you all for your crossed fingers and well wishes! It means a lot and keeps me going!
This was a VERY long day for us. Mr. Bags and I decided to hear the news together so we could just be there for each other whether it was to celebrate or console. We also decided to go to our favorite ocean view park to hear the news. It couldn't have been a more perfect, beautiful day. Clear skies..sun shining....75 degrees with a lovely ocean breeze.
My favorite PA left a message on my phone around 1:30 and we waited until after we dropped our carpoolers off to listen to it. We walked over to a bench, faced the ocean and listened..."Hello, love! I would like to give you the good news in person. So you both need to call me so I can give you the very exciting good news..congratulations!" Needless to say we both began grinning from ear to ear and I cried!
So we called and of course she was with a patient so we had to wait about another 15 minutes for her to call us back. We finally connected for her to tell us that the beta is 24. I asked if that was a good number and she said it was average at this stage so I'm definitely PG!
Now that fateful second beta looms. As you know last time it didn't bring good news, but at least this time we've learned our big lesson so we're cautiously excited and waiting with bated breath until Wednesday afternoon. I think for good luck we'll go back to that beautiful place and come what may we'll at least have a gorgeous view to take in.
First of all thank you all for your crossed fingers and well wishes! It means a lot and keeps me going!
This was a VERY long day for us. Mr. Bags and I decided to hear the news together so we could just be there for each other whether it was to celebrate or console. We also decided to go to our favorite ocean view park to hear the news. It couldn't have been a more perfect, beautiful day. Clear skies..sun shining....75 degrees with a lovely ocean breeze.
My favorite PA left a message on my phone around 1:30 and we waited until after we dropped our carpoolers off to listen to it. We walked over to a bench, faced the ocean and listened..."Hello, love! I would like to give you the good news in person. So you both need to call me so I can give you the very exciting good news..congratulations!" Needless to say we both began grinning from ear to ear and I cried!
So we called and of course she was with a patient so we had to wait about another 15 minutes for her to call us back. We finally connected for her to tell us that the beta is 24. I asked if that was a good number and she said it was average at this stage so I'm definitely PG!
Now that fateful second beta looms. As you know last time it didn't bring good news, but at least this time we've learned our big lesson so we're cautiously excited and waiting with bated breath until Wednesday afternoon. I think for good luck we'll go back to that beautiful place and come what may we'll at least have a gorgeous view to take in.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9dp3dt (aka beta eve)
Here I sit pondering the events of today thinking it would just drag on. Thankfully it didn't and I got through without freaking out. Mr. Bags has been cheerful and upbeat all day and probably also thankful I remained even keeled today. :)
I spent most of the day running house errands and reflecting on remembering 9/11. We don't have cable so I relied on the radio and Internet to reflect. NPR occupied the airspace with tributes, stories and accounts of people who had lived through the Pentagon attacks. Although having to relive the events of that awful day was sad and mournful, it proved to be quite distracting from beta thoughts. I hope that doesn't sound wrong.
I am mostly mournful for all of those innocent lives lost in those senseless acts. It made me feel very grateful for the lives Mr. Bags and I have along with friends and family that we hold dear. Whatever the outcome tomorrow and the days to come on our journey we WILL survive and will draw strength from each other.
Catch you on the flip side of beta day! Eeeeek!
I spent most of the day running house errands and reflecting on remembering 9/11. We don't have cable so I relied on the radio and Internet to reflect. NPR occupied the airspace with tributes, stories and accounts of people who had lived through the Pentagon attacks. Although having to relive the events of that awful day was sad and mournful, it proved to be quite distracting from beta thoughts. I hope that doesn't sound wrong.
I am mostly mournful for all of those innocent lives lost in those senseless acts. It made me feel very grateful for the lives Mr. Bags and I have along with friends and family that we hold dear. Whatever the outcome tomorrow and the days to come on our journey we WILL survive and will draw strength from each other.
Catch you on the flip side of beta day! Eeeeek!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wanted to share this song...
Just wanted to share this song that I just found. It's called "Find My Way" and it's written and sung by a favorite local artist of mine. She's so talented and has a pure, beautiful voice. The words just spoke to me and I wanted to share them with all of you! Enjoy!
7dp3dt
Ahhh the 2ww..or in my case (which I'm thankful for BTW) the 10 day wait. Not as long, but just as grueling. As I recall from the last one: the first part...not so bad. Second part...with each passing day..too much! Living in the moment as much as possible is helping. Along with funny yout.ube videos friends send me and my "Friends" DVDs. :)
But then doubt sneaks in playing on my emotions. For the last four days straight I've had crampy feelings along with some pressure feelings in my groin area (however practically non-existent today). Mild back pain here and there, some fatigue, a couple of really short dizzy spells, increased hunger off and on and for the last two days increased thirst. These are all things I don't "normally" feel so how can I NOT analyze them? UGH....anyone have any suggestions?
I thank my FT friend who gave me the great tip of asking myself three things everyday.
1) What did I do well today.
2) Name 3 things I know for certain.
3) Name 3 things I am grateful for.
This has helped.. now I just have to remind myself to do it everyday!
I won't be POASing, as I think I have had too many disappointments in the past and would just rather have a certain answer after the beta. It's going to be here fast..holding on to my hat! :)
But then doubt sneaks in playing on my emotions. For the last four days straight I've had crampy feelings along with some pressure feelings in my groin area (however practically non-existent today). Mild back pain here and there, some fatigue, a couple of really short dizzy spells, increased hunger off and on and for the last two days increased thirst. These are all things I don't "normally" feel so how can I NOT analyze them? UGH....anyone have any suggestions?
I thank my FT friend who gave me the great tip of asking myself three things everyday.
1) What did I do well today.
2) Name 3 things I know for certain.
3) Name 3 things I am grateful for.
This has helped.. now I just have to remind myself to do it everyday!
I won't be POASing, as I think I have had too many disappointments in the past and would just rather have a certain answer after the beta. It's going to be here fast..holding on to my hat! :)
Saturday, September 3, 2011
PUPO!!! (1dp3dt)
Well I am officially PUPO!!! I called yesterday morning to check the status of the embabies and they all survived the thaw! However, only 3 out of the 5 looked good enough to transfer. 1-beautiful 8 cell and 2 slightly fragmented 7 cell embryos.
Sooo then the question of how many to transfer was the next step. As we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doc. Mr Bags and I debated on putting in 2 or 3....he was really undecided and was mostly leaving it up to me. yikes!
Dr. F explained why 3 was the way to go and my favorite PA confirmed that it was a good strategy. Basically because of my age (thanks for reminding me :) ), because they were frozen PLUS the two that are fragmented makes the chances of SOMEBODY sticking a little higher if they all 3 went in. Does that make sense? So that's what we did. All 3 were transferred. EEeeeep!!
Now we wait...but at least not as long as last time. Yay! We're excited and ready for this just to work! So in the mean time I'm taking full advantage of bed rest orders for the next three days and trying to stay in the moment and zen as much as possible...Oooooommmmmm! : O)
Sooo then the question of how many to transfer was the next step. As we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doc. Mr Bags and I debated on putting in 2 or 3....he was really undecided and was mostly leaving it up to me. yikes!
Dr. F explained why 3 was the way to go and my favorite PA confirmed that it was a good strategy. Basically because of my age (thanks for reminding me :) ), because they were frozen PLUS the two that are fragmented makes the chances of SOMEBODY sticking a little higher if they all 3 went in. Does that make sense? So that's what we did. All 3 were transferred. EEeeeep!!
Now we wait...but at least not as long as last time. Yay! We're excited and ready for this just to work! So in the mean time I'm taking full advantage of bed rest orders for the next three days and trying to stay in the moment and zen as much as possible...Oooooommmmmm! : O)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
PUPOville here I come! (hopefully)
I won't know for sure how the embabies are doing until tomorrow morning. eeeep! I've noticed my heart is skipping more beats these days with anticipation and a hefty dose of anxiety too.
I'm scared. I'm scare of what's to come...of what may happen...or not happen. I had acupuncture today which helped calm me a bit. I plan on listening to some meditation tonight and on the way down to the appt.
Here's to the 2WW and PUPOville!!! I'll catch you all on the other side...Happy Friday everyone and I hope you all have lovely, relaxing three day weekends!
I'm scared. I'm scare of what's to come...of what may happen...or not happen. I had acupuncture today which helped calm me a bit. I plan on listening to some meditation tonight and on the way down to the appt.
Here's to the 2WW and PUPOville!!! I'll catch you all on the other side...Happy Friday everyone and I hope you all have lovely, relaxing three day weekends!
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