Here I sit pondering the events of today thinking it would just drag on. Thankfully it didn't and I got through without freaking out. Mr. Bags has been cheerful and upbeat all day and probably also thankful I remained even keeled today. :)
I spent most of the day running house errands and reflecting on remembering 9/11. We don't have cable so I relied on the radio and Internet to reflect. NPR occupied the airspace with tributes, stories and accounts of people who had lived through the Pentagon attacks. Although having to relive the events of that awful day was sad and mournful, it proved to be quite distracting from beta thoughts. I hope that doesn't sound wrong.
I am mostly mournful for all of those innocent lives lost in those senseless acts. It made me feel very grateful for the lives Mr. Bags and I have along with friends and family that we hold dear. Whatever the outcome tomorrow and the days to come on our journey we WILL survive and will draw strength from each other.
Catch you on the flip side of beta day! Eeeeek!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wanted to share this song...
Just wanted to share this song that I just found. It's called "Find My Way" and it's written and sung by a favorite local artist of mine. She's so talented and has a pure, beautiful voice. The words just spoke to me and I wanted to share them with all of you! Enjoy!
7dp3dt
Ahhh the 2ww..or in my case (which I'm thankful for BTW) the 10 day wait. Not as long, but just as grueling. As I recall from the last one: the first part...not so bad. Second part...with each passing day..too much! Living in the moment as much as possible is helping. Along with funny yout.ube videos friends send me and my "Friends" DVDs. :)
But then doubt sneaks in playing on my emotions. For the last four days straight I've had crampy feelings along with some pressure feelings in my groin area (however practically non-existent today). Mild back pain here and there, some fatigue, a couple of really short dizzy spells, increased hunger off and on and for the last two days increased thirst. These are all things I don't "normally" feel so how can I NOT analyze them? UGH....anyone have any suggestions?
I thank my FT friend who gave me the great tip of asking myself three things everyday.
1) What did I do well today.
2) Name 3 things I know for certain.
3) Name 3 things I am grateful for.
This has helped.. now I just have to remind myself to do it everyday!
I won't be POASing, as I think I have had too many disappointments in the past and would just rather have a certain answer after the beta. It's going to be here fast..holding on to my hat! :)
But then doubt sneaks in playing on my emotions. For the last four days straight I've had crampy feelings along with some pressure feelings in my groin area (however practically non-existent today). Mild back pain here and there, some fatigue, a couple of really short dizzy spells, increased hunger off and on and for the last two days increased thirst. These are all things I don't "normally" feel so how can I NOT analyze them? UGH....anyone have any suggestions?
I thank my FT friend who gave me the great tip of asking myself three things everyday.
1) What did I do well today.
2) Name 3 things I know for certain.
3) Name 3 things I am grateful for.
This has helped.. now I just have to remind myself to do it everyday!
I won't be POASing, as I think I have had too many disappointments in the past and would just rather have a certain answer after the beta. It's going to be here fast..holding on to my hat! :)
Saturday, September 3, 2011
PUPO!!! (1dp3dt)
Well I am officially PUPO!!! I called yesterday morning to check the status of the embabies and they all survived the thaw! However, only 3 out of the 5 looked good enough to transfer. 1-beautiful 8 cell and 2 slightly fragmented 7 cell embryos.
Sooo then the question of how many to transfer was the next step. As we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doc. Mr Bags and I debated on putting in 2 or 3....he was really undecided and was mostly leaving it up to me. yikes!
Dr. F explained why 3 was the way to go and my favorite PA confirmed that it was a good strategy. Basically because of my age (thanks for reminding me :) ), because they were frozen PLUS the two that are fragmented makes the chances of SOMEBODY sticking a little higher if they all 3 went in. Does that make sense? So that's what we did. All 3 were transferred. EEeeeep!!
Now we wait...but at least not as long as last time. Yay! We're excited and ready for this just to work! So in the mean time I'm taking full advantage of bed rest orders for the next three days and trying to stay in the moment and zen as much as possible...Oooooommmmmm! : O)
Sooo then the question of how many to transfer was the next step. As we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doc. Mr Bags and I debated on putting in 2 or 3....he was really undecided and was mostly leaving it up to me. yikes!
Dr. F explained why 3 was the way to go and my favorite PA confirmed that it was a good strategy. Basically because of my age (thanks for reminding me :) ), because they were frozen PLUS the two that are fragmented makes the chances of SOMEBODY sticking a little higher if they all 3 went in. Does that make sense? So that's what we did. All 3 were transferred. EEeeeep!!
Now we wait...but at least not as long as last time. Yay! We're excited and ready for this just to work! So in the mean time I'm taking full advantage of bed rest orders for the next three days and trying to stay in the moment and zen as much as possible...Oooooommmmmm! : O)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
PUPOville here I come! (hopefully)
I won't know for sure how the embabies are doing until tomorrow morning. eeeep! I've noticed my heart is skipping more beats these days with anticipation and a hefty dose of anxiety too.
I'm scared. I'm scare of what's to come...of what may happen...or not happen. I had acupuncture today which helped calm me a bit. I plan on listening to some meditation tonight and on the way down to the appt.
Here's to the 2WW and PUPOville!!! I'll catch you all on the other side...Happy Friday everyone and I hope you all have lovely, relaxing three day weekends!
I'm scared. I'm scare of what's to come...of what may happen...or not happen. I had acupuncture today which helped calm me a bit. I plan on listening to some meditation tonight and on the way down to the appt.
Here's to the 2WW and PUPOville!!! I'll catch you all on the other side...Happy Friday everyone and I hope you all have lovely, relaxing three day weekends!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Next hoop cleared
Well we cleared the next hurdle and are ready for what is to come. The lining looked great on Friday and we are ready to move forward to thawing some embabies!!
We are going to start with 5 and see how they do. Depending on how they thaw and grow we will decide how many to put back the morning of the transfer. I will call that morning to see how things are looking and we'll go from there. If all looks good we'll make the trek and put back 1 or 2 if they are good quality. If they aren't looking all that great they'll keep growing them to see who makes it to blast and then transfer back 1 or 2 on day 5.
I start progesterone supps tonight along with the estrogen I'm already taking.
With all we've had going on my mind hasn't really been focusing on this cycle which can be a good thing. But I have definitely been emotionally scattered. Losing a parent is such a surreal and transforming thing. I never thought I'd be having to deal with this kind of thing until I was much older and they had chances to be grandparents.
But I can truly say I'm getting excited now that I can really see the possibility of giving my mom her first grandchild. The joy that it will bring to her life is something I can not wait to see!
We are going to start with 5 and see how they do. Depending on how they thaw and grow we will decide how many to put back the morning of the transfer. I will call that morning to see how things are looking and we'll go from there. If all looks good we'll make the trek and put back 1 or 2 if they are good quality. If they aren't looking all that great they'll keep growing them to see who makes it to blast and then transfer back 1 or 2 on day 5.
I start progesterone supps tonight along with the estrogen I'm already taking.
With all we've had going on my mind hasn't really been focusing on this cycle which can be a good thing. But I have definitely been emotionally scattered. Losing a parent is such a surreal and transforming thing. I never thought I'd be having to deal with this kind of thing until I was much older and they had chances to be grandparents.
But I can truly say I'm getting excited now that I can really see the possibility of giving my mom her first grandchild. The joy that it will bring to her life is something I can not wait to see!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The Circle of Life
Sorry I haven't updated. Reason being the day after retrieval my dad lost his battle with Alzheimer's Disease. This has been a whirlwind journey through IF in general for sure and to add that on top of it just leaves us speechless.
The good news is the retrieval went really well! We ended up getting 14 eggs!!!! This totally took us by surprise as we were thinking the most we would get would be 10 or 12. The polyp was also removed and all is well so far with that.
Here comes the "circle of life" part. Literally 35 minutes after my dad passed the clinic called to say that 10 eggs had fertilized and we have 10 frozen embryos!!! I was very moved by that news never mind my already emotional state. One life comes to a close and potentially one or two more begin. Amazing how life works isn't it?
I've since then gone for my baseline for the FET and began taking estrogen last Friday. I go in for a lining check on the 26th. If all looks good I'll start the progesterone and we'll do the transfer on 9/2. I asked the RE about how many we're going to defrost and he wanted to wait to discuss that at my next appt. I'm thinking let's start with 5 and see how it goes. Any thoughts?
The good news is the retrieval went really well! We ended up getting 14 eggs!!!! This totally took us by surprise as we were thinking the most we would get would be 10 or 12. The polyp was also removed and all is well so far with that.
Here comes the "circle of life" part. Literally 35 minutes after my dad passed the clinic called to say that 10 eggs had fertilized and we have 10 frozen embryos!!! I was very moved by that news never mind my already emotional state. One life comes to a close and potentially one or two more begin. Amazing how life works isn't it?
I've since then gone for my baseline for the FET and began taking estrogen last Friday. I go in for a lining check on the 26th. If all looks good I'll start the progesterone and we'll do the transfer on 9/2. I asked the RE about how many we're going to defrost and he wanted to wait to discuss that at my next appt. I'm thinking let's start with 5 and see how it goes. Any thoughts?
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