First of all thank you so much for all the shout outs and words of support! You ladies Rock!! I feel a little funny about this post because I am new to the IF blogging world (albeit not new to IF). Those of us who know this journey well are familiar with the hefty amount of guilt that comes with it. As referenced in my second blog! The guilt I feel comes from the great news we got at our appointment. As I’m sure you guessed by now…it worked!!! The guilt about this post comes from the fact that not only have I just begun blogging about our IF journey and now we’ve found success, but I feel guilty for making my sisters out there on this journey too feel sad…..I can’t help it. That’s just me.
It’s such an oxymoron. Although we all have the same goal and are so excited when someone who has struggled just like us has found success, there’s just a small voice inside that says, “Gosh I wish that were me”. I know this feeling well because it has happened to me three times in the last six months. Although I was very happy for those people, it was still hard to hear. So for you sisters out there…I’m sorry….and am sending you big virtual hugs.
So about the “catch” part. The HPT that I did in the clinic was a faint line, but so was the sample so they of course did the beta, which came back at 100.9. They want me to go back in on Monday to test again to make sure the numbers are rising. The other catch is that I’m still bleeding. (Sorry if TMI) At first it was spotty and dark. Today it was a bit heavier (like a light to medium flow) and toward the afternoon became brighter in color. I called the doc on-call and he said to stop taking the low dose Aspirin and just wait until Monday. There’s nothing they can do now and since there’s no pain. He didn’t seem to be that concerned about it.
You could say we’re extremely excited, but cautiously so. Honestly, I’m still in shock and it feels totally surreal. I wasn’t prepared for this at all!! I was bracing for a BFN and got the “good kind” of reality. I’ll keep you posted…
YAAAAY!!!! I was WONDERING when you were gonna update your blog....now I can announce it on mine so you can get some more support. :D Congrats big-time, girlie!!!! I wanna shout it from the top of the rooftops for you and Mr. Bags! :D And, yes, I totally can't wait to join you. But for the first time in this IF journey, I have to say that there's not an ounce of sadness (how freeing!)....just lotsa hope that we will get to join you soon. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI can understand that guilt. But ya know what, I was thinking about this... Guilty might be ok if the fact that your BFP was preventing others from getting theirs, but it's not. Its completely uncorrelated with anyone else attaining their goal. So let the guilt go, Cherm, and enjoy this BFP! Its all for you (and Mr Bags of course)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kathleen....your guilt doesn't really help anyone either. It doesn't help you enjoy this wonderful moment you are having and it doesn't help those of us still trying get any closer to our BFP's.
ReplyDeleteSo let it go and enjoy this time! And Congrats :)